Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Non-Resolution Resolution

For the first time since I can remember, I made a conscious effort to not make any resolutions this year. They always make me feel like a liar and a failure. Who wants that? Last year, I decided that my resolution would be to go to the gym more often. Apparently, that was the everyone else's as well- the wait time on the machines was ridiculous and I ended up going to the mall in my workout clothes instead. Yes, I was one of those people who you see and think,"Wow, good for her, she worked out today." Sometimes just putting on the workout clothes makes me feel healthier and eat better, so I suppose it works to some extent... just not the way I'd like it to. The other thing that makes me feel healthier? Watching work-out videos. Dave can attest to the number of videos I order or download only to sit there, watch them, and curse at the lunatics who manage a constant smile as they burn away those calories. I always make sure to drink a full glass of water while watching though- man, those videos are tiring! OK, so all of that is my attempt at making myself feel better for not being healthier. I always have the best of intentions- I want to workout. In fact, today I tried it. I rowed for 15 minutes while the dog grabbed at the handles every time I went back and forth. He nipped at my heels while I did lunges (I suppose he is part Border-Collie after all... maybe a Border Collie- Horse mix since he is clearly going to be much larger than we were told...) and chased me up and down the stairs (it had ER visit written all over it!) as I did my cardio segment. In retrospect, the solution to that is simple: put the dog away. But then I'd have to listen to him bark and whine and I'd feel guilty about crating him when I'm home. I feel guilty about crating him even when I am gone! But here is how I justify it: I have three young kids. I make countless trips up and down the stairs for books, stuffed toys, binkies, medicine, etc. I carry Silas, pin Hanna down and tickle her, dance with Ella, and Dave, well... we can leave Dave out of this one:). I chase the dog, clean the house, pick up poop from the yard... that's all toning and cardio, right? In order to work out and not sacrifice time with my kids, I'd have to do it at 5 am... insert laugh track here. I do admire those people though. Really. I do. I always tell them, "Man, I wish I could do that." And their response is simple: "You can." I guess no one really wants to wake up at that hour, but you do what you have to do to accomplish your goals. My friend, Tasmyn, wakes up at an insane hour to run before her kids get up and she has run a number of half and full marathons. Every time I see her I feel this sense of envy... great, in addition to the countless people I have shoe-envy of, now I am developing workout envy? Having written that, I can feel my internal competitive spirit come alive and I think,"If she can do it, why can't I?" Her kids are young, my kids are young. She works full time, and I work full time. I am sure she has a number of excuses like I do, but she's out there running while I am in bed, nice and toasty. I am not saying that I can be her (if only!), but rather,  if she can find time, surely, I can too. I use my kids as the reason I don't have time, tell myself that I'd rather be home with them than working out, but the truth is that being healthy will allow me to spend more time with them down the road. I'll be more fit to chase them for longer, have more energy, live longer, etc. So, the resolution... I mean "goal" is this: make time for me. No self-induced guilt, no excuses. Just get out there and do it. Who is with me???

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